photo by: @jenrenpro

photo by: @jenrenpro



I'm a curious student navigating this journey called life, and am always intrigued by ways to heal some of the nicks and cracks from the past. This concept of consolidating yourself, and calling back the pieces of you that you left behind (out of fear, not feeling worthy or trauma), keeps coming to me for more excavation.

We've all had experiences in life, when someone belittles us, tells us we're less then or not good enough. Makes fun of or steamrolls in a way that leaves us depleted, flattened in a power play.

You know, those monsters of your creative self-worth from childhood: Sister Mary Marguerita filled with flushed faced rage for six year olds, screaming “you're an idiot for forgetting your homework!” Or the seventh grade teacher spreading rumors that “you're a slut” because you kissed a boy. Or your supposed-bud whispering as you climb the stairs to give your valedictorian speech: “you're not that smart, you just do your work.”

If you're on the healing path, you've probably already addressed and healed some of those childhood cracks. But what about the more recent nicks?

  • You get a promotion or a new gig, and a colleague reveals there wasn't much competition for the spot

  • You pour your heart into a project and your boss gives the credit to someone else

  • You lead a workshop for a group of entrepreneurs in the same field and they stop you mid-sentence to question every word you’re saying

  • You’re almost ready to lead a session for an intimidating board room, and your colleague interrupts your mental prep to offer feedback that you repeat yourself when you present

  • You land a role in a TV show and a family member comments how heavy you look on screen

Sometimes these digs just roll off our teflon and never land in our precious memory. Then there are those that stick: yeah, that means they are still there waiting to be healed.

We can get dramatic, harbor resentment for the antagonist, dig way too deep into the light-snatcher’s projection, unhealed path or idiocy; go down the rabbit hole of how and why we’re being tested; or scramble to create a syllabus, because “we teach people how to treat us.” All of which can waste precious energy.

A more empowering practice is to go back to the situation, realize that in that moment we left a piece of our spirit behind, and call it back. Yes, you can do that.

  • Take some quiet reflection time. Imagine yourself back in the situation, take a deep breath, muster your authority, and say it out loud: “I call my spirit back! Whatever piece of me was left in that room (on that call, in that moment), I bring it back!” You can also write it out on paper or journal (long form of handwriting heals.)

  • When we mend the wound, we consolidate the little pieces of ourselves that got lost and patch the foundation to feel whole again. And beef up our confidence and self worth for the next digs to come.

  • And count on them coming … to test your resolve! Spirit has a sense of humor. When the test occurs, you’ll be in a better position to laugh and shrug it off, “Ha! I’m not leaving one cell behind, today!”

"Perhaps we should love ourselves so fiercely, that when others see us, they know exactly how it should be done." ~ Rudy Francisco