Posts in Workplace Communication

Everyone just wants to be seen and heard.

And when you embrace this and drop your own garbage, you will connect soul to soul, not role to role.

One of the exercises that I have teams do is to stand face to face with a partner. The instructions are to look the other person directly in the eyes, no talking, no facial or body gestures. Just ... simply ... be ... with your partner.

It's one of the hardest things for an adult to do. It doesn't matter if they just met or work with each other every day. They squirm and giggle. And look at me as if to ask "when will this be over?" Then I prompt them: "see this person as a child, what games to do they love?" "See this person as an awkward teen, imagine their high school struggles and dreams." And so on.

When we're done, they share reasons for the discomfort: it's rude to stare at someone, it's awkward, a stupid exercise or went on too long. Then after a few minutes of letting the resistance melt, the opening occurs. "I saw him playing the same game I loved" or "I saw her with the same teen angst I had!"

Give it a try. In your next interaction with someone: BE WITH THEM. Look them in the eye, put your phone down, drop the chatter in your head, breathe and just be. Deeper connections and greater fulfillment are on the other side.

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Compassion and empathy can be a drain when the energetic balance swings to over-care, and becomes more about ourselves than the other person.

Buddhist teacher Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche calls it "idiot compassion."

In the book, Radical Candor, author Kim Scott calls it "ruinous empathy."

It's also called "spiritual materialism."

Ouch, harsh word choices.

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Whenever someone stopped the momentum to wallow in a problem or spiral in complaint, doubt or confusion, one of us would ask a simple question to stop the drain: "WHAT'S THE SOLUTION?"

Those three words can shift the energy on the spot.

There is always a solution.

There is a way through every block.

Use this powerful statement as a way to shift your energy from stuck ... to... flow. Say it out loud. Repeat it. Let go of any expectations and be open to receiving, finding or being guided to the answer. Be available to a new possibility.

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When you're breathing the same breath with someone, you can't be in conflict.
Next time you find yourself in a tense situation with another person ... breathe. And make it a conscious breath to elevate you and the other person out of the funk. Breathe in and say to yourself, "I Am," breathe out and say "Peace." (Or, "I am ... calm.")

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The power of multiple perspectives

Every interaction you have with another human being is an opportunity to grow. Every interaction and how you respond to that interaction… is an opportunity to learn, expand who you are, see things differently and ultimately have a greater experience of life.

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Integrity. Choose it and ditch the drama.

Integrity is one of the most common core values identified by my individual and organizational clients, and I’ll bet it’s a common descriptor you use yourself. We are quick to believe that of course, we live in integrity! Yet, what does it really mean to be “in integrity?”

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