Compassion and empathy can be a drain when the energetic balance swings to over-care, and becomes more about ourselves than the other person.
Buddhist teacher Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche calls it "idiot compassion."
In the book, Radical Candor, author Kim Scott calls it "ruinous empathy."
It's also called "spiritual materialism."
Ouch, harsh word choices.Read More
CODDLE OR CUDDLE?
One of the tips my dog trainer gave me was to make the distinction between coddling and cuddling.
Coddling: If your pup is agitated, scared or anxious, acknowledge it. But don’t respond by reflecting that same energy. Don’t go into a downward spiral of “oh poor baby, what’s the matter, I will protect you.” Acknowledge her, and keep elevated. Tell her she’s okay and you keep calm to raise her energy back to calm, submissive and centered.
Cuddling is of course, showing love and affection without any drama or self-induced emotion. Cuddling is neutral and empowered.Read More
CHANGE. It’s a state of being that I’ve been fascinated by ever since I was a kid.
I love to move; I’ve picked up and packed up 5x in the last 10 years. 📦 I’m the fearless woman who can walk into a salon telling the stylist, do whatever you want and always love the outcome. 💇
Trying new things is always an adventure.
Yet lately, I’ve been in a rut. Too much comfort and stagnation. Too little adventure.
Whenever someone stopped the momentum to wallow in a problem or spiral in complaint, doubt or confusion, one of us would ask a simple question to stop the drain: "WHAT'S THE SOLUTION?"
Those three words can shift the energy on the spot.
There is always a solution.
There is a way through every block.
Use this powerful statement as a way to shift your energy from stuck ... to... flow. Say it out loud. Repeat it. Let go of any expectations and be open to receiving, finding or being guided to the answer. Be available to a new possibility.
PURE POWER PRACTICE: HARMONIOUS COMMUNICATIONS
When you're breathing the same breath with someone, you can't be in conflict.
Next time you find yourself in a tense situation with another person ... breathe. And make it a conscious breath to elevate you and the other person out of the funk. Breathe in and say to yourself, "I Am," breathe out and say "Peace." (Or, "I am ... calm.")