CAN YOU BE WITH SOMEONE?
PURE POWER PRACTICE: A DEEPER, MORE MEANINGFUL CONNECTION
It's so easy to look into this child's eyes and immediately connect. The innocence, the mischievousness and the joyful curiosity for what is reflected.
I work with adults all the time, who struggle to connect with each other. I mean really connect. They're in conflict or disagreement and are too stubborn to budge, they don't feel valued or acknowledged, or they're holding a grudge.
I share with them 8 simple words, and what could be summed up as universal law:
Everyone just wants to be seen and heard.
And when you embrace this and drop your own garbage, you will connect soul to soul, not role to role.
One of the exercises that I have teams do is to stand face to face with a partner. The instructions are to look the other person directly in the eyes, no talking, no facial or body gestures. Just ... simply ... be ... with your partner.
It's one of the hardest things for an adult to do. It doesn't matter if they just met or work with each other every day. They squirm and giggle. And look at me as if to ask "when will this be over?" Then I prompt them: "see this person as a child, what games to do they love?" "See this person as an awkward teen, imagine their high school struggles and dreams." And so on.
When we're done, they share reasons for the discomfort: it's rude to stare at someone, it's awkward, a stupid exercise or went on too long. Then after a few minutes of letting the resistance melt, the opening occurs. "I saw him playing the same game I loved" or "I saw her with the same teen angst I had!"
Give it a try. In your next interaction with someone: BE WITH THEM. Look them in the eye, put your phone down, drop the chatter in your head, breathe and just be. Deeper connections and greater fulfillment are on the other side.
What do you see in their reflection?