Are you committed or attached?
Have you ever wanted a situation to turn out a certain way, but were so frustrated when it didn’t happen? Or wanted to achieve a goal so bad, but wound up deflated when you fell short?
As a recovering perfectionist, I experience this often. I hold on so tight to an expectation, a goal or an outcome that I clearly envision will come into reality, and wind up gritting my teeth and white knuckling my way through it. I then become blocked, procrastinate or collapse in utter frustration from banging my head against the wall.
Every time I catch myself in this place of suffering — I remember “What you resist, persists.” The more I want something and hold on to the desiring so tightly, I create resistance, which in fact, pushes the very thing I want away from me.
All suffering is related to attachment. You create your own misery when you hold on so tightly to thinking how it must be, how it should be, instead of letting life flow with ease. And when you’re attached to an outcome or situation, you’re squeezing the life out of any possibility of something better.
Is there any area of your life where you are upset or suffering? Think about the situation and ask yourself how you may be causing the pain:
Are you attached to the situation or outcome? And is that attachment causing your pain?
Here are 3 key distinctions to help you release the grip and commit to a successful outcome instead of experiencing the pain:
1. Commitment vs. Attachment. You can be committed to a successful outcome, without being attached. Being committed allows you to let the world unfold without always attempting to figure it all out. When you’re committed, you don’t try so hard to make it work, you simply allow it to work. You take the actions you need to take, but without the white knuckle grip on your expectations.
2. Know that whatever you’re experiencing is perfect. When expectations are shattered, practice allowing it to be the way it is. Relax, let go, and recognize that sometimes your desires are about how you think your world should be, rather than how it is in the moment. Just let it be in the moment.
3. Welcome uncertainty. Take time to open your mind to uncertainty and the possibilities that lie in front of you. Being committed means giving space for possibilities to unfold and to find comfort in the uncomfortable.
Remember, suffering is a choice. Choose to be committed instead and detach and allow the miracles in your life to unfold!